17 Aug Dating While You Plan by D.Clark
When it comes to wedding planning, sometimes you can forget just why you’re getting married. Because you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together, duh! All of that is true, but with the stress and time constraints that comes along with planning your big day, there’s a chance that you and your fiancé haven’t spent time together…alone…without wondering if you should go with the gold chiavaris or the Louis ghost chairs. Today we’re super excited to welcome a fellow girl boss and friend of the blog, Dominique Clark. Dominique is a Professional Matchmaker and Relationship Coach based in Durham, North Carolina. Check out D.Clark’s tips on dating while you plan:
As soon as she says YES! And the engagement is official, date nights all of a sudden become obsolete and wedding planning is in full force! Many couples subconsciously begin to think less of each other and more about the BIG day! And, I can’t blame them, getting married is such an exciting time in anyone’s life, but you don’t want your relationship to suffer in preparing for it. So, here are 9 tips on how to continue to date your mate while you plan for the wedding of your dreams and begin the road to your happily ever after:
- Don’t Replace Date Night with Wedding Planning Night
Carving out time every week to romantically connect can be difficult for any couple, but wedding planning makes this ritual even more elusive. You may start setting aside a specific night for wedding planning, eventually replacing your regular date nights with discussions on venues, flowers, what have you — but resist this at all costs! Keeping romance alive requires spending some time and energy actually being romantic. Don’t take that opportunity away! And while planning does have fun aspects, there is nothing sexy about balancing your wedding budget in Excel, right?
- Make Date Night a No-Wedding-Talk Time
When you do go out to revive the romance, fight the urge to fall into wedding planning chitchat. Yes, you may be stressed about the fact that your wedding coordinator still hasn’t answered your last email, but try not to let that dominate your night. A few hours of relaxing and really enjoying each other’s company will make you realize that, whether she gets back to you or not, you’re really, really excited to get married and spend your lives together. And that’s what’s important.
- Delegate Some Wedding To-Dos
If you’re feeling so overwhelmed that, between work and your other obligations, you just can’t find time to spend non-wedding-planning time together, enlist support. Whether that looks like hiring the amazing Creative Purposes team as your wedding planners or asking your bridesmaids to take over a DIY task, asking for help will keep stress from overwhelming you and your relationship.
- Make Wedding Tasks Passionate
Some parts of wedding planning are decidedly unsexy — i.e. choosing pima cotton or polyester table linens — but there are many to-dos that can be fun, and even romantic. Some caterers offer take-home tastings, so why not turn trying food into a picnic? Or, if you’re stressed out about your first dance, maybe take a few dance lessons with your love. This is a great date night idea while also crossing something off your list! Even flipping through old photos to create a slideshow for the reception or listening to your favorite songs while creating your music playlist is a chance to reconnect: As you go through the images and listen to each song, allow yourselves to reminisce about all the fun times you’ve had together
- Don’t Hit “Pause” on Your Relationship
Engagement can sometimes feel like an undefined relationship zone between “in a relationship” and “married” in which the only purpose is to plan a big party. But when you let the wedding overtake this special step in your relationship, you’re not honoring the fact that this time is incredibly unique — you’re more committed than ever and that’s a meaningful space you don’t want to overlook. So, instead of spending over 200 hours planning for a single day, spend some of that time fully engaged with each other, planning for each and every day that comes after!
- Make Honeymoon Planning a Priority
Even if you’re not taking a honeymoon right after your wedding (or even until months later), it’s important to make some time to at least conceptualize or dream about where you might want to go. While wedding planning can be punctuated with worry, honeymoon planning is all about fun — there are no parents to please, no expectations to fulfill but your own, and no dreaded seating chart (except for choosing where you’ll sit on the airplane!). Honeymoon planning can balance out wedding planning and get you both excited for the big day to come — because afterward, you’ll be on your way to the paradise of your choice.
- Verbalize Your Love
Wedding planning creates a lot of to-dos — and honey-dos — so make a commitment to devoting as much of your talk time to giving tasks as you do to expressing devotion. Yes, actions may speak louder than words but talk ain’t cheap when it comes to keeping passion alive. Complimenting your partner, telling them you appreciate them and how much you love him or her in the midst of wedding planning chaos can go a long way toward keeping you both sane.
- Don’t Skip Girls Night Out Just Because You’re Busy
Again, make it a rule that no wedding talk is allowed, and laugh and dance with your friends just like you always have. Social time is crucial to keeping your sanity and simply necessary!
- Document Your Love
Keep a gratitude journal. The best way to escape what’s going wrong with your wedding plans is to make yourself think about, appreciate and write down what’s going right. Think about all the people involved in making this day amazingly special for you and, more importantly, the one person that loves you so much that he’s asked to spend the rest of his life with you. Look back to it often when you need a little boost and a smile.
I LOVE YOU FOR READING!!!